I think it is time to fall.
Flash forward to that dream that reoccurs every night. The one where I am standing on a cliff and the world is moving so fast around me. But the sky is so blue and for some reason I have the urge to jump, and at the same time the urge to run away. Then all of a sudden, as if I was pushed, a wind sweeps by and the next thing I know I am falling, falling, falling. It seems like there is no bottom in sight, just blue sky and I kick my legs and arms.
Unfortunately for Rob I kick in the non-dream world too. He has the bruises to prove it.
But I think I am finally realizing what it all means.
It means to let go.
So often in life we are so tightly wound. Our muscles are tense, our bodies are stiff, our opinions are unwavering. We feel like we can play puppet master. Like we can control everything and everyone.
But honestly we can’t.
Over the past few months I have been feeling the tightness. Every masseuse I have visited has commented on my shoulders and back.
“You carry all your tension here,” said one, rubbing down my spine.
Yes, I know.
I carry all my tension in my head too.
Sometimes we forget how innocent we were as children. How we have to embrace that innocence, how we have to let go our need for control. Our chains that bind us to the daily grind of 9 to 5.
When I do yoga I feel like a child. My two favorites are child’s pose and happy baby. As you can tell they are poses that really release the inner child.
If you ever get a chance, in the comfort of your own home, try out these poses.
Breathe deeply. Let go of the day. Let go of all these tensions that we hold. The webs we find ourselves caught up in.
I believe these poses, the ones we used to do over and over in the crib, or in the playpen, have a fundamental healing benefit.
There is something so spiritual and relaxing in these postures.
I find myself doing these poses at times when I feel the most stress.
Stress is really like a demon, or a spirit that sucks at your soul.
Stress can lead to the development of numerous types of cancer. It can weaken your immune system and lead to the contraction of illnesses and diseases.
I should know- I am constantly a bundle of stress.
But I think those dreams, the dreams in which I am falling, are really the only time in my life I have fully let go. To completely fall into this existence and just see where the wind takes me.
Rob has taught me to let go. And I am so happy to be falling with him in a few short days.
We will line up our feet with the cliff’s edge and get ready for the plunge. And where will we land? Who knows? I can’t control that.