Ah. Here I am again, breathing in a new year.
I always think of a new year as a time of change – or at least a time for intentions to change. It’s the time of year for new year’s resolutions: all around people are joining gyms, starting new diets, learning a new language or going back to school. And good for them for having the intention to make a change.
This year I am not going to set any new year’s resolutions, instead I am going to focus on one word, an intention for my year: health.
For those of you who have been following this blog you may or may not know of the health concerns that have dominated my life for the past year or so. Like a snowball these problems seem to have been getting bigger and bigger and dragging me down emotionally, physically and mentally.
The other day my mother asked why I listed my endometriosis and PCOS in my “about me” section on my twitter account. She said “why are you defining yourself that way?” And I responded, “because they HAVE been defining me for the past year.”
This year I have had surgeries, gone through machines, experiences uncomfortable medical tests, had enough blood drawn to revive the dead, and camped out in doctor’s offices like I friggin’ live there.
The whole thing is infuriating!
And sometimes the doctors aren’t always right. And sometimes the doctors aren’t always listening. And sometimes you have to just take your own path.
I am not going to let a few medical disorders DEFINE me. I am more than just an ailment, I am more than just a disease.
So that is what I am doing in 2012. I am taking a path unknown- who knows where I will end up, but I am going to do this journey on my own.
And as the snow melts and the first buds emerge from the soil below- so too will I emerge anew. I will be healthier than ever before and I will take my health into my own hands.
And although this year has had its ups and downs, and I have wandered this beaten down path, and I have sometimes felt like I am going nowhere, I know at the end of the day I’m going in the right direction.