I can’t even put into words what I felt.
It was like a dark cloud came and settled over my head and didn’t leave until the winds changed direction and I was able to break free.
Last week I missed yoga because the mole on my face began to bleed and I had to go to the dermatologist. All kinds of feelings of fear crept up and I found myself going into my panic mode.
You have cancer. You’re sick. Something is wrong.
I should have gone to teach yoga but instead I let that sink in. I let my thoughts become consumed by the negative, the fear. And as that fear sank in more fears started to arise. All these old fears that I thought were gone. Fears like, “I’m not good enough. No one likes me. I’m a hypocrite. I’m stuck. I’m gaining weight. My skin doesn’t look good.”
Back up whaaaat??
Aren’t you the positivity chick? Aren’t you the spiritual life coach?
Yes. Even a life coach has her off weeks. But boy what a learning lesson. I realize now that my yoga is my therapy. It is my way to process the world, my feelings, and so much more. Through my breathing I get to tune in and replace all fear with love.
So I am vowing to get back to my practice…even on the days I don’t feel like it. Even on the days when I am consumed with fear. Because as I move and breathe and release I find myself.