These past two weeks Mercury has been in retrograde.
It’s a time of miscommunication, hostility, tech failure, and a time of confusion and chaos. For me it was a time of self discovery and hardship. It was also a time of nostalgia and overthinking. I did a lot of crying. I did a lot of “WHY UNIVERSE, WHY?” And in all this commotion I came to the realization…
Damn, spiritual lessons are hard as F.
As a spiritual teacher and inner magic coach I spend much of my free time helping others uncover blocks. We go over what is holding them back, I help them find clarity and grace. When I lead a group of people, I see how we all evolve together to vibrate on a higher frequency and start shining our light.
But these past two weeks I have been hiding out. The truth is, I have been feeling like a bit of a fraud. How can I preach all this “love yourself” stuff and yet secretly find myself struggling with my own self worth?
That’s when it hit me..write about it! Blogging has always been my greatest teacher. So I wanted to share with you the hardest spiritual lessons I have had to learn the past few weeks. And I bet you can guess the first one…
How You Identify Your Self Worth
I look back at my Facebook posts from this time last year and I remember exactly where I was… I was JUST learning that I had the right to make money…to make A LOT of money from my spiritual gifts. I call that period of my life the “permission to charge” period. As a lightworker and earth angel, I have been to this realm many times and in all of my lifetimes I have been struggling, poor, and spiritual. In my mind I had created a limiting belief about money.
This belief was…spiritual people do not made money.
Boom, as soon as I realized that this was an illusion, I started to make money from my divine gifts. Not just a little bit of money, a lot of money! I started making changes in my thought patterns and it made a huge shift in my life.
But then every time I moved a few steps forward, I would take a big step back. Little thoughts would come up like “you’re not good enough.” Or “it’s not the right time.” And even after I left the job I hated, I started at a new job that I hated even more.
I was left wondering, “What is wrong with me?”
During Mercury Retrograde I was challenged to re-think how I identified my self worth. Am I worthy because someone else tells me I am worthy? Am I valuable because people like me? Am I great because I am doing great at my 9-5 job?
This hard ass spiritual lesson is an ever-expansive quest, but here is the down low: YOU dictate your self worth and value. It comes from within you. It is a sacred partnership with your creator. No one and nothing outside of yourself is the answer.
So I picked myself up and said, “wow, okay. I am super effing valuable and totally worthy of all kinds of love and abundance.”
Then I did a little dance.
If you’re learning this lesson…just go easy on yourself.
It’s not an easy one and it seems like the more you question it, the higher you are climbing in the spiritual ranks. Because if you do not acknowledge your worth then you are not acknowledging that brilliant soul within you.
You are enough. You have enough. It is enough.