You may have noticed less emails, less blog posts, less activity on Sookton’s Space. My friends haven’t seen me in months. I’ve been popping up hosting workshops and events, and then quickly retreating to my home. The truth is, I have been spending a lot of time alone, reflecting, and writing.
In the past I would have called myself “selfish” for this kind of behavior. I would have said, “Suki, people want to see you. You should spend time with them. You should make your friends the priority. You should work on your blog.” But am I being selfish or is that where the SELF IS?
It’s not an easy journey to get to know yourself. In fact, I believe it is the hardest journey of all. We spend so much time analyzing other people, figuring out their motives, behavior and body language, but seldom do we take the time to do this with ourselves. What are my own motives? What do I truly desire? What is my body language telling the world?
I began the process of writing my first book on December 1, 2014. Don’t get my wrong, I have started this process many times before. I have half written books, half written projects, half written poems all over my house. My life is pretty much all the lyrics of the song “Unwritten.” But this time was different. I had a new fire in me. I was determined to finish this book.
And so I sat…like a hermit…and wrote the book.
For 11 weeks I wrote, every day or every other day. I wrote by hand with a ballpoint pen. I wrote in honor of all the great writers that came before me. And I channeled their energy. I give them reverence. I don’t know how they did it with feather pens or typewriters. I don”t know how they did it hovering over lanterns or struggling by candlelight. I don’t know how they wrote hundreds of pages without stopping. But they did. And I did.
On February 21 I wrote the last sentence. I stopped and looked at the book in front of me. I felt this part of my heart open. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.
Because for once I had started something and finished it. For once I had not let my DOUBT do the talking. Instead, I had battled through the fear to do something that I always felt was impossible: to finish writing a book.
And I did it for ME. I could say I did it for people to read it or to make me famous or to become a published author and end up on the New York Times Best Sellers list. But if I am being completely honest, I wrote this book because I needed to write it. It was a story that had been sitting in my chest for too long and I really just needed to get it out.
In the coming weeks I will be submitting it to publishers. I know the importance of sharing your truth. Please wish me luck on this additional journey. My plan after this is to transform Sookton’s Space into www.SukiEleuterio.com, my author page and blog.
If you have friends that would like to subscribe to Sookton’s Space, please have them join me on this journey too. Since you have been my loyal followers, you will receive first notification of when the book comes out.
So that’s why I have been a hermit. And maybe it has been selfish.
But I have been spending time to figure out who my SELF actually Is.
Thank you for understanding!